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I know I have great people in my life but….
Even on my birthday, it just doesn’t feel like enough. I know I am loved and I know that I have some amazing people in my life but, honestly, I’m just still not happy. Not right now.
The little things get to me. They really do. My friends decorated things for me today and sang to me and I’ve been told “happy birthday” so many times today - each greeted with a smile and a thank you. But…I’m not okay.
Things with my “brother” have been crappy lately and normally he texts me at midnight super excited. This time? It was about noon and he texted me. He lives right down the hall and I didn’t even see him today even though I’ve been studying in his lounge all day.
He was supposed to help me with school today if he was around the building and he was but he didn’t. It’s stupid…but it bothers me.
And the girl that I’m living with next year? She’s been so incredibly needy lately. If we do anything and she isn’t explicitly invited, the world implodes because we “left her out.” We’re not two - we run into each other and randomly decide to go to eat or study in a classroom. We don’t NOT invite her. We talk about things in front of her and she doesn’t feel like she’s invited unless we talk to her AGAIN about it. Seriously? Today I had to spend twenty minutes trying to convince her that we weren’t coloring plates for the boys without her on purpose - I just had too much coffee and wanted to color on a freaking plate and walked into a room to color with people. She saw me get the plates!
Bah.
It’s all stupid stuff and I’m just being ridiculous but…the little things do get to me. I’m trying to be all smiles and sunshine but………it’s kind of more than I can handle. I have four exams this week and finals are in two weeks. I have to go home next weekend and then I have to do a bunch of other random stuff. This is all going to be ridiculous.
Stress.
*End rant for now*
